Women Demand Equality - One Step Too Far.
Posted: Wednesday, August 27, 2008
by LeahG Artist
Cartoon & Illustration Services
When women call for a right to equality
they are relinquishing their right to be different. Women and Men are
biologically different, they have different needs and no law will ever make
women equal to men as it will always remain the case that women have babies,
women are mothers and women will regardless of career path fulfill that role in
some capacity if they bear children.
By endeavoring to be 'equal' to men, women
are increasing their workload two fold. Working mums don't go to work and
return home to read the newspaper and watch the news while their dinner is
served to them upon a silver platter. Which is largely still the case for
married men.
Working mums come home, make the dinner,
clean the dishes, put on the washing, do the ironing, clean the house, prepare
tomorrows lunch, help the children with homework, talk to husband about his day IF they have time and are lucky if they get to sit down before bed time. Intimacy with their partner may suffer significantly as a result of tiredness, stress and no more hours left in the day!
This in itself can lead to all manner of problems not least one of infidelity as the husband feels he doesn't get enough attention. The children may also feel neglected and that can manifest in bad behavior, isolating themselves from mum and spending more and more time outside the home.
The
dual role of mum and career woman is stressful and diminishes the value of each task. Some women are
perfectionists and struggle to juggle both roles, being super at them both.
Others can afford to hire help or can rely on family/husband support. But for
the vast majority of working mums, the load is borne entirely by them. In some cases there is no option (due to finances) for mums but to go to work and juggle the two. So where is the support for mums, to keep them at home and out of poverty?
Depression and breakdowns are on the
increase as is the obsession for equality. But the equality is an illusion. Men have rarely had to fill both these roles, though some now do they are still in a minority. A good thing too as juggling both roles is not a positive advancement.
Why do women, want men to treat them as
equals when women already perform twice the tasks men do, and work longer hours
including the work they do at home?
Working women are in danger of losing their
rights to be full time mums, which in time affects the children, which in time
affects society.
One radical view is that while feminism was
great for women who wanted to lose their shackles and have a say and develop
careers, is that it did also lead to the breakdown of the family unit. Men have
slowly become demasculinated as the roles collide and women appear in more and
more previously male dominated career roles.
One example is how equality allows women to
work in the fire service. If a woman can demonstrate she can perform the job as
well as a man and is not in anyway hindering, endangering the public with her
presence then of course she deserves as does a man to do that job. However it
is often the case that firewomen cannot perform equally to the standard of
their male counterparts. They do not have the strength to do the same duties.
In these cases there is something very wrong with equality. Equality should not
come at the detriment of society and safety.
Women are more equal than men in many
areas. Women get widows benefits whereas men do not. Men, whose wives die,
become full time dads to their children yet are left in poverty due to their
lack of 'equal' rights.
If we are going to strive towards equality let us first consider what we are giving up about being unique.
"Women have taken on multiple roles to adapt to changes in society today. They continue meeting household and family responsibilities, while at the same time working and trying to maintain personal interests. Women can view these roles as challenges, or they can perceive them as threats. As demands increase to fulfill these roles, women often feel a sense of losing control and helplessness, making them prone to stress and burnout.
For most women, stress ranks at the top of the list of daily problems.
Women are more likely candidates for stress than are men. Women strive
to be perfect in all areas of their lives, and women do not spend
enough time taking care of themselves. Women need to understand stress,
recognize warning signs, and develop coping skills to maintain health
in all dimensions of their lives."
The NCBI - National Center for Biotechnology Information says this here:
"This literature review focuses on distressing or negative aspects of
enacting the specific primary roles of worker, wife, and mother.Vicarious stress and inadequate social support for women in these roles
may contribute to immunosuppression and disease vulnerability. Some
women may choose the sick role as a means of escape from taxing role
responsibilities."
Here is a link detailing some of the many health risks to women who
undertake certain jobs and why their physiology (in some cases not all) puts them at risk.
I have not made any suggestion here that women belong in the home. This article is re 'one step too far' and merely reflects concern that womens roles have expanded beyond what is reasonable or healthy. It also reflects the fact that men are still denied equal rights to women who have financial benefits which are still currently denied to men.
I welcome all comments, but please try to avoid saying:
'are you saying.............'
then follow that up with a long list of things I have NOT said.
If I have not said it, then of course the answer is 'no...I am not saying it'.
Thank you and may the debate rage on.
Leah left the retail and health management world a few years ago to become a freelance writer and artist. She now enjoys creating funky vibrant cartoons and illsutrations for websites, promotional materials and as gifts. Leah would love to illustrate her own children's books in the future. Presently she is creating cartoon and cartoon mascots for business clients.
Visit LeahG's Cartoon and Illustration Services website here for updates and latest art work.
Amen, sister! How refreshing to know that there are realistic women like you who know the obvious: women are not men, and men are not women. Thanks for this politically incorrect article. Really enjoyed it.You are very welcome, it needs saying.
We are killing ourselves trying to fill male and female roles. If there was a satisfactory way of going to work and 'resting' when we got home, fine, but I don't know any working mums who have that luxury, but I know lots of men that do. Seems that equality is this a tad unequal and we've just made more work for ourselves.
Truth spoken again CB! I agree with you completely. My problem is that I am guilty of such. Not only do I have to work, but I am the pastor's wife. This catapults me into a high profile and most believe that I should do the same as my husband. I really miss our quality time together from when I didn't have to go to the office. Don't misunderstand, I love my job, but it makes double work as you said. We also love our church, but it is a service position w/o pay. Someday though, I know that it will all come to pass. But in the meantime I definitely do not want to be considered equal. I quite enjoy being my husbands princess. :-)Thanks Michelle. Hopefully one days soon we'll figure out what the healthy balance is though the hard part is achieving it.
Creative Blogger,Women's rights do not undermine the obvious biological differences that we have as women. Of course we are different! No woman would deny that. And women's entrance into the workforce has little to do with women's rights, but has more do to with economic shifts that have necessitated dual incomes. Are you saying that you should be paid less because you are a woman; have less influence in a companies policy making decisions, have limits to how far you can advance in your career, or be unable to vote? Do you think that you are biologically inferior to men, because you have the ability to bear children? Because this is what you are implying when you refer to this being an example of equality. This is not an issue of equality.You gripe about the stereotypical woman's place in the home by being responsible for household chores, but you think that this is the natural way of things. If you think that a woman's place is in the home, then why are you employed? What do you think has given you the right to express your thoughts so freely, on this public platform?I'm sorry, but this article is rife with contradictory statements. Perhaps you should re think what you are trying to say, and keep the concept of equality out of the picture.Sorry.Jennifer, where you say
'are you saying..........'
I never said any of those things that you list. So the answer is no.
I comment on the fact that women are over stretched and do more than men.
I commented on the fact women are not suited to all male roles with one example relating to strength.
Your argument is thus not a reply to my article.Actually, it is. I don't think you understand the concept of equality.Equality is not about treating everyone in the same way, but recognising that they have different needs and these needs should be met in different ways. Womens needs are not being met when they are working 18hrs a day (home and office) and neither are mens as in case of widowers benefit.
If you can address specific points I made rather than ones you assume, I can respond accordingly.
Creative Blogger,OK, I'll be specific. You say, "Working mums come home, make the dinner, clean the dishes, put on the washing, do the ironing, clean the house, prepare tomorrows lunch, help the children with homework, talk to husband about his day IF they have time and are lucky if they get to sit down before bed time. Intimacy with their partner may suffer significantly as a result of tiredness, stress and no more hours left in the day!" Who's family are you talking about? This was and is not MY family. I submit that you are showing not only your bias about women but men as well. You ASSUME that men do not do these tasks that supposedly are left for wifey? Are these tasks exclusively a woman's role? You assume that all family's operate under your preconceived notion thus reinforcing your opinion that women should not strive for equal opportunity and rights? Is that what you are saying?James if you read the article more closely you will see I do NOT assume ALL families are like this. I acknowledge men are also now performing the same dual tasks ..but less so (and that's a fact James, like it or not) and I acknowledge that it is NOT a good thing for either gender to be working 18hrs a day.
I have lived all over this lovely country of mine, and have known many people, many families and am not in any way a recluse and what I see is reflected in what I write. The reality is on the whole (not ine every single case)that women still do more in the home than men.
I have not said anything in my article saying women should remain doing 18hrs work a day or that their role should be as housekeeper. I have merely stated how it is and how it damages health and relationships.
It is very frustrating when people say I have written something I have not due to lack of careful reading or their own bias.
Please refer to the links edited in to the end of my article which support the content and context of my article. The damaging impacts on womens health and private life due to expanding roles is widely known, studied and documented.
Anonymous - your comment has been removed as you are unable to substantiate it. Insults alone are not the basis of a good argument. If you wish to make a productive contribution please refer to the part of the text (accurate quote) that you disagree with and explain what it is you disagree with. Many thanks.
Hi CB. That's some article and it has engendered a lot of comments. To me that says that you have really hit on something significant and somewhat controversial.It has also been my experience that the majority of married males leave the majority of child and home care to their wives. We are still too close to the married generations of the 1950's with the "Leave it to Beaver" and "Father Knows Best" concept of the females role.Unfortunately, in this day and age (don't you just hate things that start that way), many married females must work in order to make the family's finances sound. My husband and I chose not to have children, and the need for me to work was one of the many deciding factors. We didn't see how I could hold down two full time jobs and stay sane and healthy. For many, many years, we both had one and a half jobs. Bernd did as much around the house as I did. I consider myself to be very lucky and him to be the exception to the rule. Right now, I am not working outside of the home. I am running my own little business.I do, however, think that if a female is able to do a job as well as a male, then she should be paid at the same rate he is. But that, sadly, is not the case. Many employers site the reason for paying married females less is that they have working husbands!For me, equality means equal pay for equal jobs. It will always remain that there are some things males cannot do that females can and some that men can do that women cannot. We should acknowledge, accept and love these differences rather than making them an issue that divides us.DianneThank you Diane, very well put.
I'm not quite sure..it sounds like sterotypes are rife throughout your article. What exactly are things that women should do that men should do? Teach? cook? clean? Yes, there are differences between men and women, but if women can do the job, then there should be no problem. Women can become firefighters, but they may have to work and train harder to do so. Are you aware of the fact that female firefighters in Victoria fought for this right? What about female military personnel? Yes, there will always be those who are not well-trained and suited for the job, but there are those who are.And you are neglecting the need for a dual based income. It seems to me what really is the problem here is for a better work/life balance. This is changing with generation Y, who do not want to work 60 hours a day. Should women refrain from becoming police officers, firefighters, military personnel, etc.? What should they do? Stay home?I'm not sure you read the article. My complaint is that women DO more than men, ie full time job then family/spouse/house to take of when home.